Michelle's Melange: Edition 1
The first edition to start it all...a bit of the "why," plus what I'm reading, what I'm watching, my pattern of the moment, and house listing of my dreams.
Dec. 1st, 2019
The other day [actually, it was 8+ months ago, when I first drafted this], my friend Andrew used the word “melange” in daily conversation. Needless to say, this shocked me.
There is a need to explain: the only time I had ever heard that word used was when I had my own newsletter with my family members as the target audience, called “Michelle’s Melange.” Considering my elementary school age, I didn’t grasp the full meaning of the word. The basic premise was a curated list of fun facts I’d derived from my readings of Ripley’s Believe it or Not! I can’t tell you how many Ripley’s books I have, how many times I’ve visited the same Ripley’s museum in San Francisco, or how excited I was in 5th grade to watch the TBS show hosted by Dean Cain (aka Superman). In fact, I continue to be inspired by his work-- and by him, I mean Ripley, not Dean.
For evidence of his continued impact on my life, please find a video here that I made a few years ago at my work’s production studio. My teammates helped to direct my vision, and both my manager and director from work watched this video while I cried laughing at the fact that I’d actually filmed, edited, and shared such a strange video in the workplace. It felt a little revealing.
In the past few years, I’ve struggled with the idea of a creative outlet and have let my perfectionism get the best of me-- I’ve had little to no output! My friend John has even tried to encourage me using a threat: Send him new writings weekly or else I pay him $5, but this didn’t work. I’ve signed on for blog-writing and caption-crafting gigs that required little to no commitment, and still found myself stressed out by the concept of needing to deliver but believing my writing will never be perfect. As a solution, I’ve come to this casual newsletter format: something that’s just structured enough, enables me to share some of the content from my 100 open browser tabs, yet offers the cozy comfort of a built-in escape hatch-- I could just fade away! And, based on your helpful form feedback (which I *loved* reading), I’m getting the sense that my (soon to be?) loyal readers are down for this hodgepodge of information.
What I’m Reading
My piles of magazines aren’t shrinking, but I’m allowing myself to pick up new books now, whereas before I felt this fear of accumulating more items to weigh down my bookshelf. I’m over that-- I want to read the new stuff I find at Green Apple or Booksmith! This book maximalism mentality has been surprisingly freeing. However, it’s key to note that the types of books that I’m attracted to are primarily shorter in length, so there’s an increased chance I’ll actually finish them. The *rush* of finishing a book allows me to keep up the momentum to devour the rest.
Some recs:
Lucia Berlin A Manual for Cleaning Women
Jia Tolentino Trick Mirror
Otessa Mogfegh Eileen
What I’m Watching
Why do I talk about this dorky English show with everyone I know? I’ve been mega inspired by the concept of redoing an entire place, inevitably blowing all of my savings and going over budget, compromising my relationship in the process. I need to be able to wallpaper some rooms in this lifetime. I love being able to detect the same pattern that every couple goes through, as it’s usually a couple undertaking a crazy project together:
Initial excitement, delusions, and romanticism of the difficult journey ahead
First major obstacle arises, calling into question the entire project i.e. a contractor quitting
As project runs way over budget and is taking much longer to complete than anticipated, the central characters are forced to move into a relative’s tiny house for a gloomy English Christmas
Project is finally completed, but they’re so over budget that they’re depressed and/or planning the sale already
AKA...a must-watch! xoxo
Pattern of the Moment
Take it or leave it: Cow print, as a pattern, has really been piquing my interest for as long as I’ve been working on this draft. Maybe it can act in place of the reliable cheetah print. I think of all the ways I could pattern clash with a cow print statement piece, and wonder if it might even work as an unexpected neutral.
These off-the-wall overpriced cow print short boots, therefore, check all the boxes. Ideally, I want to look like I have hooves rather than feet. Plz reply and let me know if I should throw my $$ at these.
Semi-current House Listing of My Dreams
Find it here
I went on a hike with coworkers on a “team offsite” that involved us trekking up the Filbert Street steps, a place I’d never been but that offered insane views of the bay. More importantly, the real estate reminded me how the rich are living and how I am clearly not. There’s a lush community garden in between the homes that are along this trail, and most of them are actually inaccessible by cars (or at least you’d have to walk up or down a steep incline). It honestly must be really annoying for the mailmen.
[Photo of strangers, check out the garden.]
[You can’t deny the plush turn-of-the-century vibe.]
The houses look almost like they’re from a 1900’s frontier-themed set. Still, I wanted to know how the places looked inside. This particular place is a gem, in my eyes, because you can imagine how it was a century ago. What a time capsule. I mean...clearly, the owner hasn’t done much to change it. The original light fixtures, and note the stove!! in the below pic. I love that it’s depicted in a way that makes you think the photographer intruded on the owner’s morning routine. I wonder if anyone bought it, since the article states that she’s looking for a unique arrangement: she was offering it for a below-market price (in 2016), in exchange for allowing her to live there until she dies. Would you be on board??? I could be.
Nothing breaks my heart more than a historic Victorian being white-washed or turned into a modern look, for the record.
[A snapshot of a very On the Road-esque kitchen.]
What I’m Watching
Anonymous minimalist girls. Example channel for reference
It occurred to me that an entire vertical of YouTubers is dedicated to a particular lifestyle. Keywords I’d use to conjure some visuals: all-white, minimalism, cascading plants, freelance, morning routines, Konmari method.
Why am I so attracted to this content? It’s funny considering that I simultaneously have an aversion to the “clean” lifestyle-- those bare walls, clean desktops, Morrocan rugs serving as the only pop of color. It just is...fake, and I don’t understand where they’re keeping photos, mementos, Beanie Babies??, the types of ephemera that don’t fit neatly into this lifestyle. This so-called intentional life has to be a mask for imperfections, for other things going on beneath the surface. Is this lifestyle financially feasible? To younger viewers, it would seem way too easy to have a big, light-filled NYC apartment and seamlessly manage the cost without roommates to bear the brunt.
[How your desk should look if you’re a successful millennial entrepreneur.]
Not sure if any of my *readers* follow leefromamerica, but she actually is a perfect example of this phenomenon. She developed an insanely engaged following based on her adaptogen-heavy smoothie recipes, and her content developed to include lifestyle-y stuff, i.e. hikes at dawn, daily journaling, meditation, plant care. Ultimately, she was amazing at branding and catering to the self care-focused millennial audience-- you’d be able to identify her from a “starter pack” of a body brush + Everyday oil, a food spill on her shirt (perfectly relatable), a toxin-free nail job, and a Sunday roast chicken meal prep.
She took a social media break for months, and I saw the comments she’d continually get on her last post announcing the break, of subscribers missing her daily dancing-while-blending-smoothies stories. I was extremely curious what had happened, since I got the sense it wasn’t a typical “tech detox.” When she returned online, she slowly opened up about her unhealthy control issues when it came to food. Prior to becoming “leefromamerica,” she was bulimic, and her food issues had come roaring back, just in another Instagram-friendly form.
[Lee meditating on an Urban Outfitters couch.]
I found this older profile of her, published prior to this revelation. It is actually scary how unrealistic her guidance is for the average person, though it’s easier to analyze in retrospect. Yet it made me realize how prevalent this type of overly stringent aspirational lifestyle advice is -- a sampling: “I travel a lot for work but when I am home for 10 or more days at a time, I always make sure I grow my own sprouts. It takes 10 days for the trays to fully grow. I add them to salads, avocado toast, on top of bowls, and add them to smoothies.”
”I take collagen peptides every day to help heal my gut and make my hair, nails, and joints stronger. It makes my nails grow super fast too. When I travel I take digestive enzymes to help decrease the chances of uncomfortable bloat or constipation. I also take a daily probiotic each morning on an empty stomach.”
“I loveeeee the Clean Program. I believe it’s helped me in so many ways, including healing my gut, IBS issues, emotional eating tendencies, and food dependencies. The shakes are just a small part of the program; what the program really does is strip you of all your habits so you can rebuild new ones.”
What, to me, is the most slippery/problematic aspect of this type of health guidance is that it doesn’t feel impossible-- it just makes the reader feel as if they aren’t doing enough. If there aren't any supplements or adaptogens embedded in every meal, they’re failing. Casual mentions of 21-day elimination diets remind readers of the self-imposed scarcity tactics necessary to be “healthy” or “balanced.”
What’s your take on this? I predict that more influencers will come out on the other side with a critical view and having experienced a similarly negative impact, as we’ve already seen lots of “burnout”-related content over the past few years.
Account to Check Out
I read about this project in the New Yorker first, and immediately loved the concept-- photographer Susan Schiffman asks her NYC neighbors if they’re rent-controlled tenants, and if they respond yes, requests to photograph their living spaces. I love that the account shows snapshots of real living, often in tiny spaces with accumulated mementos of 50+ years of existing in the same space. Each post has a simple caption, with the name of the tenant, neighborhood, and how long they’ve lived there.
[A very Hey Arnold type of rent-controlled apartment.]
That’s all for now.
<3 Merchelle